A Little Bit of Honesty

I was told I needed to write something in my blog. I guess the reason I have not been writing on my blog is because I am too confused in my life to be honest with myself. And my blog is all about being honest with myself.

Okay....here is something that I have been thinking about a lot lately.

I divorced my ex-husband in December of 2008. He actually asked for a divorce, I just took the initiative so that he wouldn't be in control of all the decisions that were made in regards to the divorce.

I met a man within a few weeks of my divorce becoming final. My ex, my mother, and who knows who else, thinks I left my ex for another man. That has created quite a stir amongst my family and friends. I know the truth, and that is all I can do is hold onto what I know to be true.

Now, here I live with this man I met. He is a good man, and we do enjoy the same things (fishing, the outdoors, etc...).

BUT.......

I hate to say it, but he is not making a good impression on my children. He is so high strung, and I feel like he is sometimes condescending to me. He can be very centered on himself, and yet he has no idea he is even doing so. He is very apologetic when I call him on certain things, so that is a plus, but I feel our relationship is already like an old married couple. Or, to be perfectly honest with myself, I feel like I am back in my old marriage in a way. Sex is great....when we have it. I obviously want sex more than he and lately I have had to go back to using my toys on occasion.

I don't know....Do I love him? Yes. Am I having fun in our relationship? Absolutelty NOT.

I think that is enough honesty for today.